how am i suppose to know that I am making the right decision?

of course laa saya x kn tahu kan?? it's obvious isn't it.. selagi u haven't experienced it.. u won't know.

to be honest.. saya sangat takut dgn keputusan yang saya dh buat. quite a rush decision. but based on past experience... kalau ikut cakap ibu n ayah insya'allah everything will turn out fine.. makanyer, pasrah dan bertawakkal sahajalah.

i guess i need my schoolbag once again~ ^_^

title yang sgt poyo... tapi kinda true.

well i'm planning to start my own bakery business. sekarang duk browse through the ideas from other bakers. serious semua sgt lovely.

this coming new year i have one fondant cupcake order and i'm seriously clueless for the kinda design i shud give. sebab tuela duk browse through blog semua org kot2 dpt sumber ilham. *sigh*

Roughly I do have the idea... tp tkt nnt org ckp saya tiru design diorg plak. Aduyai.. camner nie. x per ker erk kalau macam copy paste sana sket dulu nnt dah lama2 br blh dpt sumber ilham sndr kot kan.. huhu~

boleyh ker erk?

~takottt~

baru bekerja sebulan setengah... tue pun part time jer. tp xdela part time mana... sibuk mengalahkan org kerja office hour jer rasanya.

dahla begitu.. tiba2 laptop bercadang hendak bermanja-manja kembali.. bila laptop sudah selesai bermanja.. wireless detector dan internet rumah pula bercadang hendak menyambung proses bermanja. Allahu akbar. Mujurlah saya sendiri mmg x berkesempatan untuk online langsung2. bila weekend jer.. yg penting hanya rasa seperti hendak merehatkan badan. sungguh.. bekerja di kedai kek nie sangat2 penat yer. tak senang yer hendak men'deco' dan membuat kek ini. Rehat ker? xdela jugak.. macam banyak jer undangan perkahwinan yang perlu dipenuhi. Ada saja aktiviti2 yang perlu diselesaikan.

Bukan hendak merungut.. cuma terkadang.. terasa sedikit sepi + ralat. Makanan untuk badan tak pernah lupa.. tapi makanan untuk hati macam dilupakan. Lama sangat rasanya since the last day saya mendengar ceramah agama. Yer, memanglah boleh dengar through radio.. tapi lain rasanya. Usrah pun dah lama tinggal.. *sigh*

Mana nak cari yer?? Bukan x nak join.. tapi kerja saya x sama seperti pekerjaan orang lain. Kalau time banyak order.. jangan harap nak boleh balik awal. Kalau boleh mmg sgt2 nak join usrah.. tapi nanti kalau x dpt bg commitment...lg rasa sedeyh + bersalah. Makanya... dengar sahajalah ceramah di radio I.K.I.M ^_^.

Sabar yer Diana... Insya'allah behind a cloud there will always be a silver lining.

Well.. Obviously I didn't earn as much as my friend for the time being..BUT the most important thing is dat I'm totally in love with what I'm doing rite now. Sangat heaven okay... all I have to worry abt is whether my cake will turns out good or bad; what design shud I make on the cuppies and that's abt it.

Saya sudah jatuh chenta dgn kerja ini.. *love*

On top of that I acquire new skills.. something that I thought I would never do in my entire life. Thanks to my mom for finding this part time job for me *yes !! my MOM*. Who knows this might come in handy sumtime in future huh.. [ no PETRONAS, I won't lupakan u]

N this is my employer

Sile..sile order cake or cuppies from here.. ^_^

p/s:- PETRONAS dearie.. please call me fast before I lupakan all the accounting terms yg I dh blaja for the past 5 years. Nanti x pasal2 asyik ingat how to do rosette, shells, fondant n etc.. *hik3~*

This entry is solely dedicated to a good friend of mine. Aja Aja Adrianis Adnan.. Chaiyokk Anis !!!

Good Luck.. All the best Anis.. Anis boleh !!! Go!! Go!! Go!!..

I will always pray for our success.

Usaha keras ini adalah sunnah Rasulullah, Tawakkal itu pula jiwa baginda..

Bittaufiq wan najah Nur Adrianis Adnan..

p/s:- i know u'll read this.. good luck !!

hugs and kisses all the way from subang jaya

I do have allergies on food prepared by others...

Last weekend, on Saturday I had to attend the wedding of the son of my dad's frenz.. Obviously, we went to the wedding. The food was okay... but the drinks. I guess they didn't used filtered water for the ice cube.. well can't blame them can I?? Org lain elok jer, saya yang terlajak manja. Sekali malam tue terus kami 3 beradik demam okay.. Knowing me.. kalau dh demam harusla lambat nak baik. Dah naik cuak okay.. sebab esok tue nk bwat open hse kt rumah plak. Satu hape pun x prepare lg nie..

Malam tue, my mum insist for me to sleep early so that I will have a good rest. So after taking some medication terus laa tidur and bangun dlm kategori xdela awal sgt.. around 6.40 like that. Bangun2 jer terusla bersilat kat dapur utk buat kerja semua tue.. yerla satu apa pun x prepare okay~

Since Ahad tue sgt hectic kan, mlm tue terus flat and on Monday morning tue rasa badan x sedap balik. Sakit tekak yang melampau horror and badan kejap panas, kejap sejuk camtue. As usual, refuse to go to the clinic. Doctor is my enemy remember... :P All I did was rest at home.

Come Tuesday, I got a terrible headache. *well particularly due to the shocking news I received the night before* And body temperature xdela okay sangat.. tp xdela panas sgt mcm few days before. Dah petang tue mmg alhamdulillah, dah sihat sket.. and since later on saya dh ada date dgn one of my sayangss might as well go on jer kan. So off I went for dinner at one of the restaurant in Subang Jaya. I ordered nasi goreng kampung with teh suam. The food was so-so jerla xdela giler sedap camtue. Tapi okayy~

Sekali malam tue sakit perut giler2 okay. Pagi tue continue ke toilet x tau berapa kali kot and smp skrg perut masih senak2. Harus kena perli dgn my mom okay pasal makan kt luar. I shud learnt my lesson laa.

Nak kata saya berlagak diva pun boleh gak laa kot sebab mmg macam mengada sungguh tue. *geramm*

Alhamdulillah..

Sungguh saya sangat2 bersyukur sebab Petronas still x panggil saya untuk kerja lagi. Mmg betul macam yang ibu cakap.. 'Allah dah rancang semuanya sempurna untuk awak'. *degil betul Diana*

If offer tue datang sekarang.. which mean I would be in Permata for PIPE rite now kan??.. I seriously dun think I could handle all this together. Sungguh, ujian kali ini bukan seperti biasa... when I thought I've had the most difficult ever with my final sem + graduation thingy, this appears to be wayyyyy difficult. SERIOUSLY !!

Sungguh saya betul2 bersyukur dengan takdir yang telah Allah tentukan ini. I seriously couldn't ask for more. All I've got to do now.. brace myself and face wutever that is in front of me. Allah tahu saya boleh go through all this kan.. He definitely knows me better than I know myself.

Ya Allah aku mohon sangat2 padaMu kurniakan aku kekuatan untuk aku hadapi semua ini Ya Allah..

Well.. I dun have the kind of allergies where I can't eat seafood or chicken or nuts etc...
BUT.. my kind of allergies are more related with cleanliness maybe..~

Bukanlah nak perasan diri ini 'DIVA' or anything.. but if makan kat luar or anything.. selalu jer saya akan sakit tekak after dine-in dkt sana. That would happened because the water. They might nt filtered the water, hence excessive amt of chlorine.. =( which will then menyebabkan saya sakit tekak.

Another allergies that I have is that saya x boleh makan cuka2 lain selain distilled vinegar.. (saya x ingat brand apa kalau kt m'sia nie..). So kalau makan kt kedai atau rumah orang, saya selalunya akan mengelak utk order nasi ayam terutamanya. Sebab utk buat sos cili nasi ayam kan memerlukan cuka kan.. n most people didn't use this distilled vinegar. Kalau saya makan, saya mmg confirm akan dpt distinguish and kemudian akan sakit tekak yg sgt dahsyatnya.

Another thing would be food, kalau mmg saya makan jer mana2 yg saya suka, for example pasar malam ker hapa ker.. dan kalau kebetulan orang yang buat tue x masak dgn betul + bersih.. saya confirm akan sakit perut. Nie pun bukan nak perasan DIVA.. tp mmg dh macam tue nk buat caner.

Banyak lg sebenarnya yang akan terjadi, if saya silap pilih kedai makan..

And that is why.. kadang2 orang ingat saya nie golongan yg 'high class' pdhal saya biasa2 jer.. I can't simply eat anywhere or wherever I want to. Byk factor kena take into consideration. To be honest, I can't eat at Mamak.. Beside I am not a fan of them either. So.. macam xdela kisah sangat pun~

Semua nie terjadi sebab my mum and dad always use first class ingredients in cooking. And I guess, my mom pun dikurniakan kebolehan memasak yg sangat hebat. She prefer to cook on her own wutever we want to eat rather than beli kat luar. Beside we do have different citarasa than others.. Selalu jer, org recommend tempat tue ckp sangat2 sedap.. tapi bila makan... biasa2 jer. Kalau dulu waktu kecik2.. confirm laju jer saya comment terang-terangan.. " x sedapla bu !!".. *hehehe* sekarang nie behave laa sket~

Sekarang nie.. kalau orang tanya the food yg diorang masak sedap ke x, kalau betul sedap saya akan jawab.. sedap tapi kalau pada saya biasa2 jer.. saya akan berdiam diri and continue makan just for the sake of finishing it and xkn tambah2 dah.. ^_^

Dulu.. ingatkan bila balik kt Malaysia nie senang nak makan halal food.. rupa2nya lagi susah dr kt UK. Yerlaa.. imagine if the owner @ main owner of the shop tue non muslim. Do you really think they would bought the ingredient used from a muslim vendor. I am sorry.. but I doubt that. Even kalau prg kedai Muslim pun.. sure ker cara2 sembelihan ayam or lembu tadi tuhh benar2 mengikut cara2 penyembelihan Islam. Lately nie banyak jer berita, sembelihan tidak dilakukan dengan cara yang sepatutnya. HORROR okay !!! Food tue later on akan jadi darah daging kita tau. Kalau x pasti halal haramnya camner nak makan. Banyaklah lg reason kenapa saya kurang gemar makan kt luar. Pengesahan halal pun boleh jadi issue jugak. Imagine... JAKIM Malaysia pun boleh bg pengesahan halal bukan.. tp kenapa sesetengah kedai went for Halal Asia Pacific for example. Why do they have to go to that extend?? Kenapa nk susah2 dptkan Halal Asia Pacific daripada Halal JAKIM jer??

Kalau nk cerita pasal Halal n Haram nie.. x tahula entry nie akan jadi panjang mana... Infact dh lari tajuk nie..*hikhikhik*. All I can say, buku Halal n Haram yg dikeluarkan oleh persatuan pengguna pulau pinang tuhh mmg sangat banyak info okay~. Bukan food jer yang nk kena jaga.. semua benda kot. And I do mean EVERYTHING..

till then.. daa~

At this moment, ramai sangat antara orang2 yg dikenali yang dh dpt offer kerja from our beloved sponsor. Bila orang tanya Diana... I can't answer it. Tak tahulah kenapa.. tapi sampai sekarang saya masih tidak mendapat jawapan. Huhu.. sedih memang sedih. Takut memang takut.. tapi all I can do rite now is berdoa jer banyak2 semoga rezeki akan dipermudahkan. Pasti ada sebab mengapa Allah s.w.t tak bagi saya offer kerja secepat rakan2 saya yang lain.

Penantian memang sesuatu yang sangat perit.

...but all she can do is to spill out everything in her blog o_O

I promised myself before that I will try nt to write any sappy + mushy2 + teary entries in this blog. But I guess...it all goes to the drain now.

Hahahaha.. intro gaya2 macam entri nie akan menyebabkan sesiapa sahaja yang baca berlinangan air mata jer. (ciknurdiana yg poyo :P)

But it's true though.. that's what I'm feeling rite now. Saya rasa seperti ada perkara yang saya ingin luahkan.. tapi saya x tahu saya nk luahkan pada siapa. Nt that I dun have any good friends.. I have superb friends around me insya'Allah. It's just ME!!! The problem is me rite now. I can't seem to bother them with the thought that I'm having currently. Rasa macam x smp hati nk cerita kat org len masalah sendiri when I know they have plenty in their heads at the moment. Well.. I perfectly know they are more than willing to listen to every words I'm gonna say but like I said it's just ME !!. Tatkala saya ingin cuba menceritakan apa yang ada dalam hati saya.. there will be this some kind of whispering in my head yg akan cakap.."ala Diana, masalah awak remeh temeh jer ni..". Acapkali bila ditanya, saya akan mengatakan.. "xdela.. xde apa2 pun". I know.. no one can help me unless I help myself first. :sigh:

Saya tahu x elok bottle-up all the problems that I'm having currently..but I guess I need helps..I need all the helps that I could get actually for sumone to actually pull the bottle cap. I sound so pathetic rite now.. BUT nak buat camner mmg saya sgt pathetic pun sekarang ni. I seriously felt like crying now.. tapi the tears mcm reluctant nk klua. It's so MISERABLE you know to be in this emotional state.

PMS-ing ker nie? I dun think so !!

Betulla when my friend said that I am actually the most complicated gurl ever exist. Saya x nk ckp.. n I expect people to understand. *hahahaha* Bukan saya x nak cakap.. tapi saya malu nak cakap >.<

Colour of the day: Grey maybe??

I have so many things that I wanna talk about..
BUT.. I dunno where or how to start..
I have so much thoughts in my mind rite now..
BUT.. pretty limited time too..
I'll make time for it.. I promise..

I guess one of my entry title had cause a bit of misunderstanding laa..

The one abt the cerekarama I watched at youtube.com... I was curious upon a visit from sumone in Bandung, Jawa Barat, Indonesia who stumbled upon my blog by googling through the search engine over there. So I clicked on the link and.. ooOppS.. I saw sth that I should have not seen.

Aduhai... kok mengapa sih bisa jadi begini ya? Emangnya gue enggak bermaksud begitu.

*peneng*peneng* o_O

Aisy... sangat2 geram yer saya di waktu ini. Hendak sahaja rasanya dicampak telefon bimbit itu ke dinding. Mungkin lebih senang jika tidak memilikinya. Haih.. mana x geram !!! Entah mamat bangla ker india ker pakistan ker afghanistan ker mana ker yang tiba2 jd stalker x hengat nie. Dhla miss call dekat seploh kali sehari.. kadang2 tengah2 malam plak tue call.

Worst thing is... he is nt the only one. Dah few times jugak and dh few numbers jugak.

Saya malas nk layan dh pkck2 giler nie.. maka akhirnya saya membuat keputusan untuk terus menukar number phone saya. Senang~

Cuma skrg nie tgh peneng... nk stick to celcom or nk amik maxis?? or nk try digi. Celcom.. konon2 nk jd loyal customer laa.. kunun2 nya laa. Maxis sebab mcm ramai jer umat manusia i.e. rakan2 saya yg menggunakan line ini. Digi sebab saya x pernah try lagi.. maka seperti terasa ingin mencuba sesuatu yang baru. Almaklumla.. kata orang x kenal maka x cinta. Beside kalau dah cuba.. baru blh make a wiser decision later on kan.. sebab dh ada experience guna all the service provider and macam sedikit adventure gitu to try sth new.

Tapi.. serious saya sgt hangen satu badan nie.. Eeeeeee... Hamlau manala yg letak number phone saya nie merata-rata !!!

colour of the day:- merah laa kot.. sebab tgh marah nie !!!

Extreme awalnyer ciknurdiana..*hikhikhik*..

Yer..yer..saya tau. Tapi memandangkan hari raya yang bakal menjelang dlm kurang dr 48 jam shj nie.. saya rasa saya pun nak join sekaki berbicara pasal topik ini. Boleyh kan?? *wink*

Rite.. tahun ni tak sama seperti tahun yang lepas2. at least last year, sempat juga saya bake cookies utk family. Tahun nie..walaupun dh duk kt rumah jer n xde buat kerja lain.. tp sumpah sgt malas utk bake cookies. Saya hanya jadi driver cum tutor to my sweet little comrades ^_^..

Insya'Allah tahun ni my family akan buat bbq party seawal malam pertama raya.. nie sekali harung dgn open hse nie. Actually nak buat small gath utk family n friends.. tetiba cam teramai plak ahli jemputannya. Bak kata ibu, rumah kita selalu macam tue, plan nk buat utk 20-30 org jer.. alih2 nk dekat seratus jugak jd jemputannya. *alhamdulillah..murah rezeki insya'Allah*

Since the event would be at nite.. maka utk pagi raya itu, saya akan masak ala kadar sahaja. Maybe ketupat nasi + rendang jer kot. Rendang kena buat malam esok nie.. Kalau lmbt sgt kang len plak jadinyer. Hurmm.. esok pagi kena anyam ketupat nie, kalau lmbt kang biler nk merebus plak. Nanti x pasal2 berebut dapur.

Kuih raya ehh... macam xde satu pun dlm simpanan nie. Hari tue waktu awal2 puasa dulu ada gak buat choc chip cookies. Konon2nya nk simpan smp raya laa.. sekali dh hbs awl2 lagi pun~ *haih*. Nmpk gayanya perlu membuat kuih raya secara segera ini. Buat yg gaya men campak2 jer.. Hurmm.. dalam kepala nie macam nk buat macam2 tp sempat ker erk?? Nak buat cornflakes madu, biskut kelapa, choc chips, rempeyek, kuih tiram, kacang goreng ohhhh n my luvly sarang semut.. (^_^). Cukup laa tue. Buat satu adunan jer setiap satu pun dah cukup kan.

Utk bbq plak.. normal food. Ikan, sotong, udang n sausages. Ayam mmg x masuk list.. sebab saya dh sgt2 muak dgn ayam. Sausages tue pun amik sebab pk ada kanak2 riang ribena. Pastue buat soto ayam sket n celur bihun jugak.. so dh dpt bihun sup cenggitu. For dessert, puding susu cocktail, trifle n cuppies (sesame street theme). Cukup2 dah tue.. buat sket2 jer, malam bukan org makan byk sgt pun. Guest approximation dlm 50-60 org kot.

See.. simple jer kan food kami for raya nie kan~ Yerla start from raya kedua..semua dh di'paksarela'kan utk mula berpuasa enam..*equal to 1000 month tau..maka sile berpuasa yer rakan2*

I just love talking abt food. Macam sgt seronok pk pasal ini. The planning and all~ sangat menarik hati.. Sangat sukela bagi org makan. Macam bahagia jer rasa..*provided food sedap laa.. kalau x sedap lari masuk bwh meja*

Ohh n the colour for this post.. hmpphh apa erk jijat?? *wink* Macam nk letak warna purple jer.. sebab saya rasa sgt2 happy nie. ^_^

Guess what~...

I just had a chat with a friend of mine.. a petronas scholar and a coursemate as well..

Oh my... the news I received make my heart x tenteram laa. Tetiba perasaan nk menjadi paranoid itu wujud kembali. Camner nie??

Few people already received the job offer from our beloved sponsor. Tapi.. Diana jer yg x dpt2 lg nie. Sudah sgt cuak x hengat dunia nie. I dunno. Suddenly terfikir macam mana kalau I won't get the job smp hbs tempoh 6 bulan nie?? Skrg nie bolehla... my time are fill with tutoring cum driver for my lil bro n sis. Takkan 6 bulan tue nk hidup begitu?? That is ridiculously crazy kan??

What if, they won't hire me pun? Is there such possibilities??

Ya Allah, cepatkanlah dan permudahkanlah rezeki hambaMu ini Ya Allah. Aku benar2 ingin membantu mengukuhkan kewangan keluargaku. Ya Allah..amin ya rabbal alamin.

and that title refers to miss-not-so-kecik Nur Dalilah Zulkarnain a.k.a my lil sis..

Tomorrow will mark her so called merdeka day.. yerla esok she'll be officially free from any exams during her primary school years. She'll finish her PSRA exams esok...and she's been given us the hint that she'll be free soon~

haih.. that girl~

In a way she resembles me.. a lot indeed. But in some aspects she's totally different. It's like I can see a resemblance of us 3 in her. She got all of our main 'cute behaviour' with her. She's like super duper relax + calm for all her exams.. which is so not me !!!. That's the traits of her 2 brothers.. She's silly + clumsy like me. She's moody like me. She do thinks like me in some way though~. Well, the only difference is that.. she's extremely smart compared to the rest of us. (hate to admit it.. but that's for real)

Klaka laa... when u actually see urself in sumone else. Ibu keep on saying.. she's totally you Diana.. and all my aunt + uncle keep on saying hw she looks like me when I was young except that I'm much fairer.

Hmpphh.. I guess I would be seeing her face all the time now. Confirm mkck nie x nak prg school punyerla lps nie~..

Haih.. adik sape laa nie??? :bluekk:

Itu adalah tajuk cerekarama yang saya tonton di laman web youtube.com tadi. Sebenarnya, tidak berniat pun hendak menonton drama itu, tapi seperti biasa.. saya 'berjalan-jalan' di laman web tersebut dan akhirnya saya terpaut untuk menonton cerekarama tersebut.. kerana tajuknya yang saya kira cukup mencuit hati. Comel bukan?? ^_^

Saya kira, cerekarama itu pasti ditayangkan sewaktu sambutan hari ibu tahun ini. Jalan ceritanya sangat menarik.. lain daripada biasa. Sangat2 menghiburkan. Cerekarama tersebut dibintangi oleh Arash Muhammad dan Fauziah Dato' Ahamad Daud sebagai teraju utamanya dan dibantu jua oleh beberapa artis lain. Antaranya, Nora Danish.

NO... I am not going to be a film critics now. Langsung tak berkeinginan sebegitu.

What I'm going to say is that.. saya sangat suka dengan watak yang dilakonkan oleh Ogy. Dia melakonkan watak sebagai seorang ibu yang serba boleh. She had a very successful business, she does not have any maid in her house, she managed her own house. Basically she did all the stuff and she is describe as a 'super woman'. Her life motto was ' Keep smiling eventhough when ur heart hurts'.

Sejujurnya, saya sangat kagum dengan watak itu.. dan saya benar2 ingin menjadi sebegitu suatu hari nanti. Insya'Allah jika diizinkan olehNya. Seboleh mungkin saya ingin menjadi seorang mama yang ceria, berfikiran positif sentiasa, cool, can do everything on her own, and never ever complained. Apa yang lebih menarik.. watak mama dalam cerita ini digambarkan sebagai seorang yang keep on giving without hoping for any rewards from her family... well I know that's how a Muslim should behave actually.. but.. I ain't perfect. Kadang2 saya sendiri nak pertolongan saya dibalas.. kadangkala.. saya prnh juga merungut bila di saat saya memerlukan bantuan tiada sesiapa yang sudi menolong, walhal saya pernah menolong mereka di suatu saat dan ketika yang lalu. *bad attitude*. Banyak lagi yang saya kena ubah jika saya ingin menjadi mama seperti dalam cerita ini. I ain't a positive thinker to be honest.. memang sentiasa negative. (anis + intan syaz confirm agree). BUT that shouldn't stop me from trying to be one. Yer.. yer saya tahu dari dulu lagi.. I keep on saying I want to improve my behaviour.. tp x jadi2 jugak kan??

Well.. I have to keep on trying kan?? Kalau saya nak jadi mama yang strong.. yang xkn pernah show her probs in front of her kids.. I have to start practise frm now on kan?? I will definitely do it. Cerekarama ini benar2 membuka mata saya. ^_^ This is also hidayah Allah bukan..

Just pray for me that I'll manage to improve my attitude and in the meanwhile I'll do my part as well.*hikhikhik*

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to witness an engagement of my secondary school friend and followed by a wedding of my cousin on the next day. I am happy for them.. but deep down I felt jealous (maybe??) and sad (T_T)...

This shouldn't happened. I should not felt sad. Initially I kinda hesitate to go to the wedding. Don't get me wrong.. I love wedding. Every single bit of it. I love wedding preparation so much to the extend that I dream of preparing my own wedding from scratch. Honestly, I kinda want to DIY everything.. but I know that's pretty impossible.:silly:

Now.. my dream wedding is nt the main topic here.. the main thing is that I'm having a swing feeling because of this occassion. Haih.. boleh x kalau saya nak buat statement.." I will get married to whoever yang masuk meminang first?? " ... S.U.M.P.A.H saya akan kena cepuk dengan parents saya if they knew abt this type of decision making.. hikhikhik. Wahai hati, kenapa nak kena sedih?? kenapa nk kena cemburu?? U perfectly know ur situation rite now kan?? Masalah betulla budak yang bernama Nur Diana nie kan??

Why is this happening? Kenapa saya kena go through all this roller coaster emotion? And why can't people around me stop asking the question jugak?? Can't blame them can I?? To make the matter even worse, every single day without fail I would browse through the bride to be's blog.. Lagila saya cemburu bukan. Ada ke patut.. saya cemburu dengan masjid yang akan didirikan oleh umat Muhammad yang lain. Patutnya saya bergembira untuk mereka dan mendoakan yang terbaik buat mereka bukan??

I know.. I know.. I am so hard to understand. Ohh.. pardon me for being one. But this is my journey of being myself. Wutever that happen now, is sth that will shape me for a better me in the future. [Apa yang saya merepek skrg nie??]

Ok.. I should stop now when my words still make sense though. Daa..

I am back to Malaysia truly Asia... ^_^

Alhamdulillah.. after several dramas.. including the one at Heathrow, I finally is back home for good Insya' Allah.

Dah report duty jugak and Alhamdulillah.. moga inche' Petronas panggil saya bekerja secepat mungkin. *amin ya rabbal alamin*

And to all my dearest + lovely frenz.. mari2 kita berjumpa. Sumpah rindu pada kamu semua.. but with one condition... please..please do not ask me the 'bonus' question... boleyh??

"Diana camner.. Diana biler plak??"

"dh ada yang punyer ker??"

"tahun nie xde nasi minyak ker??"

just.stop.it

tak mau dgr dah all the bonus quest boleyh?? Nanti kalau ada, saya xkn rahsiakan. I will spill out everything.. maka x perlu ditanya. Bila, di mana, siapa... semua itu akan saya ceritakan di suatu waktu dan ketika nanti. Yang pasti bukan di waktu terdekat ini.

Dulu korang bising bila nak habis blaja.. dh hbs blaja korang bombard aku dgn soklan2 nie plak ehh. Bahagia betul hidup korang membuli aku kan... :haih:

Regardless of that.. I still love u guyz.. very much indeed.. ^_^

Alhamdulillah.. saya masih diberi kesempatan untuk bernafas dan menikmati rahmat yang dikurnikanNya di muka bumi ini.

Alhamdulillah..

Yup.. today is my 23rd birthday. Sudah hampir suku abad rupanya saya. Amal x banyak mana jugak~

To me, birthday is suatu hari yang sangat bermakna dalam hidup.. and bolehla jugak antara hari yang paling penting dlm kalendar hidup saya. Kenapa??

Sebab... pada tarikh ini, 23 tahun yang lalu ada seorang insan yang berjuang antara hidup dan mati untuk melahirkan saya. Bagi saya, on your birthday, the person yang we should celebrate is not you/ yourself but your parents. Coz without mom, saya xkan dapat peluang pun untuk lihat dunia ini. Not forgetting my dad.. of courselah kan... xde ayah dan ibu.. Nur Diana binti Zulkarnain xkn wujud pun di muka bumi ini.

Semoga dengan bertambahnya usia saya ini, saya akan lebih matang dalam kehidupan. Semoga dengan pertambahan usia ini juga, saya akan menjadi seorang insan yang lebih baik. Semoga saya menjadi seorang anak yang mampu dibanggakan, anak yang solehah, cucu yang baik, kakak yang penyayang, rakan yang setia dan isteri dan ibu yang terbaik untuk future husband and anak2 saya nanti insya'Allah. Paling penting.. of courselah menjadi hambaNya yang beriman dan bertakwa.

Thanks ayah n ibu, for tremendous effort, prayers, money and support untuk kak long. Thanks angah, achik n adik for always cheering me up when i'm down. Thanks tok.. sebab jaga kak long waktu kak long kecik2 dulu. Since I was born till now~ Takkan mampu along nak balas jasa korang, walau along jadi orang terkaya dalam dunia nie pun.. All I can do.. titipkan doa kepada Allah supaya diberi ganjaran yang setimpal untuk kalian.

To those who send their wishes and prayers.. sungguh saya sangat terharu. Saya bertuah kerana dikurniakan rakan2 + sahabat seperti kalian. Thanks for being my friends. I truly appreciate it. Terima kasih banyak2... hanya Allah yang dapat membalas.

yup.. Nur Diana dah 23 tahun... another extraordinary year I hope. Semoga rezeki dipermudahkan n ditambahkan. Semoga encik Petronas panggil saya bekerja~ *aminnn* Semoga saya dapat buat ACCA saya jugak~ Semoga Allah kurniakan takdir yang terbaik untuk saya.. ^_^

Bila makin dewasa nie.. [chewahh 'makin dewasa'...*hik3~*] lgsg xde keinginan untuk dapatkan hadiah macam waktu kecik2 dulu. Cumanya.. sangat mengharap doa dari family dan rakan2~. Cukuplah dengan doa. Lebih dari cukup sebenarnya.. ^_^.

Maka, Nur Diana Zulkarnain.. it's the start of sth new.. a new chapter of your life is abt to open, Go for it.. Jangan takut untuk gagal Diana~ Hanya dengan kegagalan.. akan tercetusnya kejayaan. Dengan syarat.. jangan sesekali kamu berputus asa. Go Diana !!! May u become a stronger person. Kamu tak perlu menjadi seorang yang luar biasa.. cukuplah menjadi insan biasa yang mempunyai semangat yang luar biasa.. ^_^

It's hard to make the first move huh??

I kinda have decided on the things that I wanna do after this.. let's just hope it's the right one. One is my passion and the other.. well let's just say I kinda go with the flow.

I hope it's wise turning my hobbies and interest into careers.

Ibu.. I'll help you as I've promised you.. ^_^

Do it step by step Diana.. eventhough it's a small steps. At least you are moving..

aja aja fighting... fighto-oh.. chaiyokk.. ganbate nei diana-chan

Don't mind the title.. can't think of any proper one..

:sigh: 22 days to go..

22 days to go till I meet my mirror image (^_^)
22 days to go till I re-unite with my dear family
22 days to go till I have a taste of 'home'
22 days to go till I know the truth
22 days to go till I break my daily routine..
22 days till I leave the place where I've experienced countless up and downs in my life.
22 days till I might last step on LHR [which I really hope is NOT..]

Ever heard of a saying that say " a happy memories will make u cry AND a sad memories will make u smile"

I dun understand those before.. but rite now I understand it. Totally get it.

I'm gonna miss lots of things..
I guess now, I can no longer complaint on the cold weather. I can no longer complaint on how cold it was during winter. I'll not have the chance to wear my winter clothes ever again. My flatmates won't complaint abt the temperature of my room. I can't complain abt the 'matahari tipu' again.

I can't walkaround the city alone again.. [ I bet ibu won't allow me to walk around KL alone..] I can't hop on the hopper bus anymore.. No more Subway Veggie Patty.. No more ChipBox.. No more Padrino's.. No more Desi Express.. No more Ahmed.. No more ASDA.. No more Primark.. No more CarBoot.. Now it'll goes back to the same old Sunway Pyramid .. MV [mid valley] ... KLCC .. etc

Funny how feelings work on you huh?? I used to want to go back home all the time.. Now I felt sad when I know that I might not be coming back here again~ That's sad.. the thought of you leaving forever the place where u've familiar with. I am anticipating my journey back home.. but I am sure that I'm gonna shed tears at Heathrow. I am leaving but I don't know when I'll ever come back again~ I really hope I will.

doshite Diana-chan??

Huhuhu...

I think I had a minor brain shocked ker hapa ker..

I seriously dunno what's wrong with me tapi kan.. macam telah banyak melupakan perkara2 yang kalau suatu ketika dahulu, insya'allah saya xkan lupa~

Best example... I keep getting people's name mixed up.

Aritue, nama anak sedara kak ilya.. sepatutnya Isyraf.. Diana prg sebut Asyraf laa plak...

N today nama anak sedara a friend of mine... sepatutnya Dania.. Diana prg sebut Damya...

Is there anything I should be worried about my dear medical student frenz~ ??

Haha.. I'm being paranoid~

Tp mmg mcm a bit pelik + lil worrisome for me, since apa yang Diana fikir x sama dgn apa yang Diana cakap.

Adakah ini kesan daripada excessive thinking yg sedang saya lakukan + external pressure yang sedang saya letakkan pada diri saya~

Byk jer lagi yg happened.. tapi those 2 mcm leave quite a huge impact on me.

Alhamdulillah, both of them arrived safely this afternoon at Heathrow.
Sangat mencuakkan tau.. bila diorg still x klua2 lagi after about 50 minutes flight landed. Kakak dia yang mmg dh gelabah semedang nie start laa fikir yang bukan2. However, bila nampak jer Danial tolak trolley klua followed by Dinie, sangat rasa bersyukur. Almost cried... it's been 9 months since I last met them. Sangat2 rindu~

Kesian diorang.. sgt2 penat. From heathrow, we took underground, piccadily line straight to Green Park n from there, change to Victoria line plak to Victoria coach station. Sebab nk jimat punyer pasal, naikla bas.. It took 3 hours to reach Nottingham. Both of them mmg dh flat out.

Sekarang nie, dedua terus tidur lepas dinner. Kecoh giler Room D, Flat 29 okay~.. Gomen nei flatmates.. Sigh.. How I miss them~

Rite now.. I have 2 sweet, cute lil intruders in my room and I am enjoying every single bit of it. [confirm next week, Heathrow banjir]. My knights in shining armour are here...and I am one happy princess..*wink*

Thank you. Arigatou gozaimasu. Khamsamnida. Jazakillah. Terima kasih

buat...

1. my mom n dad - yang x pernah jemu menasihati saya n lifting up my spirit bila saya mmg dh drained sgt2 sebenarnyer. for never ever giving up on me.. I couldn't thank both of you enough. for crying with me when I am sad, for worrying about me when I am being a brat.. I am sorry. Without both of you, I dun think I could make it.

2. my siblings.. although they might nt really understand what I'm going through currently, simply thanks for cheering me up when I'm sad with their 'lawak bodoh'. Sungguh.. sangat2 rindu.

3. my 'everything' - for being there for me. for never failed to put a smile on my face. for always making me cry when i don't want to despite the fact that I need to do so. although the distance really killing us, simply thanks for being who you are. it's been only 5 years.. but I felt as if I've known u eversince.

4. my room C flatmate - simply thanks for hearing my whining.. my -ve thoughts.. seriously thanks. Although results x dpt lg kan~ n we didn't know yet.. tp serious thanks for helping me to go through the dreadful 14 days.

5. my T***** - babe, thanks for the encouragement. couldn't asked for more. sumpah rindu gell~ Thanks sangat2 for all the advices.

6. my chomell senior - kak I***... thanks akak. serious, sangat2 berterima kasih kat akak~ Maybe you don't have the idea how ur words change my perception, how ur words helps me to motivate myself. Thanks akak~ Lama giler dah x jumpa akak... 9 years dah kan??

7. my sweet ex-chaletmate.. thanks n thanks.. n thanks.. for being you.. for simply being there when I am in the most crucial state. Nasib baikla birm n notts x jauh mana tau~ Lepas nie, jarang2 dahla boleh jumpa kau kan~ Gonna miss you badly.

Conversation 1:-

yours truely : x tahula N****, aku tau kena bersangka baik dengan perancangan Allah semua. Tapi kadang2 dalam diri aku nie ada 2 separate entity tau. Aku tahu semua, yang Allah x kan uji hamba2Nya dengan ujian yang kita x mampu etc.. tp nnt akan ada satu entity lagi yang macam cakap... "kalau Allah sayang.. kenapa Allah x mudahkan perjalanan hidup aku??"

N**** : D, percayalah cakap aku.. Allah sayang kau. Sentiasala bersangka baik dengan perancangan Allah. Apa yang kita rasa baik untuk kita tue mungkin bukan yang terbaik untuk kita.

yours truely : x taula~ aku dh letih. i'm drained.


Conversation 2:-

yours truly : ibu... *sob*sob* along rasa along macam x dpt ******** jer bu..

ibu : kak long, jangan fikir bukan2. Insya'Allah as long as u dh usaha, dh doa n tawakkal. The outcome kita kena redha. Bersangka baikla dengan perancangan Allah.

yours truely : tp kenapa Allah nk kena uji kak long macam nie??

ibu : Allah sayang kak long. Maybe u thought this is the best.. but Allah lebih tahu. Perancangan Allah itu lebih baik dari perancangan manusia.

yours truely : Nasib baik along nie beragama Islam.. agaknya kalau x.. God knows what I gonna do rite now. Maybe dh terjun bangunan dah kot ~

ibu : Hahahahaha... kak long nie, tue baru Allah uji sikit. Orang lain rugi juta2 xde plak diorg buat perangai macam tuhh.

yours truely: haih.. ibu, x sama laa diorg dh ada duit juta2 lagi dlm bank diorg. Along mana ada duit dalam bank~

Conversation 3:

kak I*** : Diana, it's nt the end of the world yet kalau x dpt ******** ... Besides dah confirm ker u can't do so..??

yours truley : Belum lagi.. it's basically just my assumption jer skrg nie.

kak I*** : Hah !! jangan fikir bukan2.

yours truely : Tapi kak ilya, kalau boleh pun tapi macam serupa x pyh jer.. sedeyh jugak~

kak I*** : Diana, ur situation n my situation xde bezanyer. But I continue my journey... n Alhamdulillah it pays back now.

yours truely : Boleh ker akak??

kak I*** : Boleh..

______________________________________________________________

Banyak jer lagi conversation yang ada sbnrnyer. From my A***, my A******, semua betul2 truly try to lift my spirits up. My flatmate yg sentiasa dengar my merepek nie.. Serious Thanks.

Selama nie, selalu terfikir.. kalau betul Allah sayang saya kenapa Dia nak bagi benda yang saya x suka kat saya?? Kenapa Dia x bagi benda yang kita suka. Sebab manusia secara normalnya akan bagi benda yang terbaik untuk org2 yang dia sayang kan?

I personally would do everything I could to ensure my loved ones are happy, secure and rasa disayangi. Seboleh mungkin x nak they felt dissappointed or heartbroken or sad disebabkan oleh saya. Tapi macam ibu saya cakap, perancangan Allah itu lebih baik. Tak pernah langsung saya merancang untuk menyusahkan kedua ibu bapa saya. Thus, everytime saya rasa saya menyusahkan diorang atau perlu menyusahkan diorang.. saya akan rasa sangat2 bersalah. I always blame myself for that. Yerla.. like "eee.. budak nie, dah besar2 pun nk dependent to her parents lagi".. Masalahnyer, I'll continue to be a burden to them after this. Hontoni gomen nei... ayah and ibu. Along x pernah ada intention pun nak buat macam tuhh.

Tapi, sayang Allah itu berbeza sedikit caranya. Ini mengikut tafsiran saya sahaja. Macam kawan2 n ibu saya cakap.. Allah uji kita sebab Allah sayang kita. N I asked my mom back.. kalau Allah sayang kenapa Allah uji macam nie. [Diana.. suka hati la Allah nak uji kamu macam mana.. kamu tue Hamba dia kot. Bukan kamu yang bertuankan Allah but it's the other way round OK !!!] <<-- jangan ikut perangai ni tau x_x .. back to the discussion... My mom cakap, mungkin sebab kita lalai pada Dia. so the true laa. Allah sayang kat kita.. Allah x nak Hamba2 dia masuk neraka sebab tue Allah bagi ujian kat kita. Sebab bila kita diuji, kita akan ingat Allah kan?? kita akan menangis, kita akan doa banyak2 n kita akan sangat2 merapatkan diri pada Allah. Kan Allah dah cakap, setapak kita mendekati dia, 10 tapak lagi dia melangkah mendekati kita. Besides, setiap doa yang kita minta tue Allah kabulkan dengan 3 cara.. 1st - Allah bagi terus.. 2nd - Allah tangguhkan dulu, dan bagi pada waktu yang sesuai.. 3rd - Allah x bagi langsung. Tapi Allah gantikan dengan yang lebih baik. Dan hikmah yang ada di sebalik setiap kejadian hanya kita akan ketahui selepas itu.. Wujud juga kebarangkalian yang kita mungkin akan langsung x tahu di dunia nie~ wallahu'alam.

Tak tahula pencahayaan agung ker hapa ker.. tapi selama nie mmg saya dgr, saya patuh dan saya taat jer... tapi tadi baru2 betul2 terkesan di hati. Baru macam yakin yang Allah mmg betul sayang semua Hamba2Nya. Saya sebenarnya patut bersyukur sebab diuji. Sebabnya, Allah masih pandang saya, saya patut takut kalau Allah dah langsung x nk care pasal saya dah..[erk.. nau'zubillah] Macam ibu saya cakap.. ujian saya ni kecil sangat kalau nak dibandingkan dengan orang lain.. tapi riuhnya saya macam gaya saya laa yang paling teruk tgh alami skrg kan~

Therefore.. saya conclude that: "to be able to accept everything with an open heart is the key to everything. n my life definitely doesn't stop there.. my life journey masih panjang. I still have a lot to do.."

p/s: tiba2 kan saya rasa saya nak smbg bljr lgla smp doctorate kalau boleh. Lps tue jadi lecturer.. ajar accounting jer. Specialised in financial accounting jer. Tuhhlaa ibu, dulu ibu asyik nk suh along jadi lecturer... nie dh dtg interest nie. [ohh.. saya memang buat anything based on minat. kalau x minat, paksa laa sejuta kali pon x nak~]

Salam..

Ini merupakan catatan pertama untuk blog ini. Saja beralih arah, bertukar selera kepada blogspot. Xanga?? Ada jer lagi... I won't delete my Xanga. Jatuh bangun saya selama ini.. Xanga tuelah yang jadi saksinya. Masih dan akan constantly updated Insya'Allah.. [chewaahhh cik diana cakap mcm ada org baca jer blog nieh kan.. :p]

Apa yang pasti, blogspot akan menjadi tempat bermulanya suatu permulaan yang baru untuk diri ini. Ia adalah pengakhiran untuk sesuatu.. dan pastinya juga suatu yang perit. Terlalu perit. Kena sunguh dgn nama blog nie kan.. " the colours of my life" [confirm laa blog nie pernuh dgn warna warni]

30.05.2009 = the start of sth new..

Moga perjalanan hidup ini yang dirasakan masih jauh Insya'Allah dipermudahkanNya.