Working out...

Hikhikhik..

Let's see how discipline can i be this time around.. I am definitely going to lose all the baby fats on my body..*determined*

Although it's actually pretty lonely to work out alone.

Let's make sure my target can be achieved by this June..

Insya'allah ^_^

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hiatus..
Assalamualaikum...

It's been so long..

All I can say..Insya'allah will start blogging actively from now on.

At the same time please drop by at my lil shops here

Will keep posting insya'allah ^_^
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My Beloved Grandma
My grandma is the one who took care of me since I was lil girl. Well, not only me.. my 2 lil bro n my other lil sis.

My grandma is the one who will make the unique 'air asam' for me when there's nothing spicy for me to eat for dinner.

My grandma is the one who will make me the most yummylicious 'pajeri nenas' I've ever tasted in my entire life.

My grandma is the only one who'll do anything for me.

My grandma is the only one who can cook the best 'bengkang' a.k.a kuih bakar in the whole wide world universe.

Now.. 

There'll be none. NIL...

I did not manage to learn all those recipes from her..

I did not manage to learn all the cooking techniques..

I bought her an english cotton cloth..for her baju raya.. but I guess I'll never see her wear it ever again. My mum asked me the other day,to whom I wanna give the kain to..?? *silence*

I did not manage to meet her before she close her eyes forever..

However..

I manage to bath her for the last time..

I manage to put her last cloth on her..

I manage to kiss her cold forehead for the last time..

It's not much..it wasn't enough either.. but Allah has better plan for me.


INITIALLY there were 7 of us in the house NOW it's down to 5 (technically it's 4 as 1 is in Baling)

INITIALLY we need to drove 2 cars should we need to go anywhere..NOW 1 car is more than enough

INITIALLY I will always hear sumone membebel to me..NOW it's a lil bit too quiet

alas... my life will never be the same anymore..

It's been a pretty rough start for me... My emotion has been going on the roller coster mode ever since the month of February and it haven't stop yet. I am pretty sure abt it.

It's been pretty hard..at one point of time I feel like crying in the middle of work and obviously I can't let my colleague sees it.

Again..for the second time.. I decide nt to sit for my ACCA exam this sems. I dun think I can. 

Almost everyday I'll wake up in the middle of the night..sometimes I manage to sleep back sometimes I end up crying in my room.

I just hope I'll be given enough strength to endure all this.

For now...all I need to do fake a smile on my face. I'll be fine. 
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.:: Ahmad Dinie Asyraf ::.
                                                          (13.03.1990 untill 21.02.2011)

Assalamualaikum...

It's been a long silence. Truth is I suffer a loss. One of my brother. I am yet to overcome the sadness/ grief till now. I lost a living garmin.. a car expert.. a game expert.. a gaduh partner.. an 'usik' partner and most importantly a BROTHER. Instead of us 4 we will now be left with only 3.

I cried like nobody business when I reach home after received the call. It felt so unreal. It doesn't look like he's dead. He looks like he's asleep. Only when you touch him you will know...n he's damn COLD.

I miss him. Really miss him...

Dear Nur Adrianis, thanks for coming.. really thanks and really appreciate it. Your hug really gave me strength to go through that painful day. Busuk..seriously thank you and I love you so much~

Dear Intan Syaz, thanks for flying all the way from Kertih for me. I know you're super duper busy with PPA going around and all dgn budget tight nyer. Seriously i'm out of words nk ckp terima kasih kat kau. Thanks sgt sebab cuti the next day.. Thanks sebab sanggup turun all the way frm Kertih. Sumpah aku xkn dpt balas jasa kau.

Dear Intan Nadia, thanks for coming for the tahlil with ur husband. Really grateful on your presence. Thank you sebab sanggup susah2 redah traffic to come to my hse. We knw hw bad traffic frm KLCC can be.

To others... thanks for the prayers and the doa. Hanya Allah dapat balas jasa kalian.

Dinie,

For all the kenduri I choose not to go and for all the cake orders I chose not to accept and for the exams I decide not to sit... It was all worth it. For all the penny spent on you...for all the tears fall down when you cried because of pain.. it was all worth it. For the sleepless night I had... it was worth it.

If and only if you can be here. Along nak peluk angah.. nak suap angah..nak laga hidung dengan angah..along nak tidur sebelah angah.. along nak jalan2 dengan angah.. But I can't do all those thing anymore kan.

Dear Dinie..
We'll meet in jannah insya'allah k. Please wait for me. Along nak jumpa angah lagi.. You will and forever will be my brother.
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At this hour...??
Assalamualaikum..

Niela namanya budak 'perak'...baru blaja cara2 blogging frm phone..*interesting kan??* Nmpk gayanya..I would nt have a reason nt to continue my blog laa kan?

I have thousands of stories literally.. Abt current and past and also plans for future. As this is my personal blog..I think I will write it down so that in the future I would be able to re-read all the entries and appreciate the journey I've made.

I am so in love with the technologies laa... I should be sleeping and yet here I am updating my blog through my phone. ^_^

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Break of Silence...
Ya Allah...

Why am I such a crybaby?? Tolonglah Ya Allah...aku mohon sangat2..redhakan aku dengan takdir yang telah engkau tetapkan untuk aku dan keluargaku. Aku mohon redhaMu.

Tolong Ya Allah peliharalah hatiku agar aku tidak mempersoalkan takdirMu..agar aku tidak mempersoalkan qada' dan qadarMu..

p/s: Anis..Diana betul2 x larat dah~..Can I switch place with him. I can't bear to watch it. 
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I hope she'll be fine...
Yesterday, at 10.00 a.m camtue, Dalilah officially left the house for MRSM Baling.

Giler susah nk control tears. Nak nangis giler2.. tp sabar jerlaa~

All I said to her... " Don't cry.." n her replies.. "I won't.." It's actually a mantra for me.. I can't cry. Obviously...~

Bukan dia nk prg mana pun.. nk further study jer pun.

Deep inside my heart I hope she came back. Tapi x baik kan doa camtue.. I should doa for her safety for her happiness n for her success.

Nasib baik smlm sgt hectic. I was moving around KL the whole day. So my mind was a bit off. Xdela terfikir sgt pasal her nt being here.

Tp while driving smlm.. as usual on the radio.. normal station fly.fm. Dalilah memorize most of the songs there.. She would normally sing along with the songs. Semalam byk laa plak her fav songs. Biler dgr jer, mst terdetik jer dlm hati.. "this is her fav songs.." n then mula laa nk nangis. But I can't.. ada 2 org budak lelaki yg giler x gentleman dlm keta tuhh~ *bluekkk*

Lps nie dh xde dah nk hntr n amik adik frm KUMON. No sending n picking her up from tuition. No squash practice for her anymore. No teman for me at any kenduri anymore... No more budak kecik in the hse. Jarang dh dpt usik adik~ Dh xde rumate.. dh x boleh membebel kt dia bila dia sepahkan almari baju. Giler sunyi~ Sebulan sekali jer boleh gaduh dgn dia~

I know.. sooner or later she'll leave the house jugak. But I don't expect it to be this soon. I mean she's only 13.... All of us are against her decision.. but dia punyer degil.. Nauzubillah hi min zalik... Extremely degil. She wins.

I hope she'll be fine over there. I hope she'll excel in her studies. Semoga Allah melindungi dia.

*i'll miss her T_T*
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They left me...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers